j raz
December 05, 2009 04:20 AM filed under Sports
the winter olympics r starting in canada in a couple months, i saw a pic of the torch and thought, "wow that looks like a giant joint being lit on one end"
1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you ? and you are the point of his existence.
2. Secrets are good ? especially life-threatening ones.
3. It?s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful ? as long as he has great abs.
4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.
5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.
6. When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences ? as long as you keep your grades up.
7. It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It?s even more romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.
8. Boys who leave you always come back.
9. Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.
10. Even though you have no intention of dating an alternative male who expresses interest in you, it is fine to string the young man along for months. Also, you should use him to fix things for you. Maybe he?ll even buy you something.
11. You should use said male to fix things because girls are incapable of anything mechanical or technical.
12. Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.
13. Car theft in the service of love is acceptable.
14. If the boy you are in love with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you ?fell down the steps? because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.
15. Men can be changed for the better if you sacrifice everything you are and devote yourself to their need for change.
16. Young women should make no effort to improve their social skills or emotional state. Instead, they should seek out potential mates that share their morose deficiencies and emotional illnesses.
17. Girls shouldn?t always read a book series just because everyone else has.
18. When writing a book series, it?s acceptable to lift seminal source material and bastardize it with tired, overwrought teenage angst.
19. When making or watching a major feature film, you should gleefully embrace the 20 minutes of plot it provides in between extended segments of vacant-eyed silence and self-indulgent, moaning banter.
20. Vampires ? once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures ? are no longer scary. In fact, they?re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.
Recently I was given just 24 hours to explore a first production build of the Apple iTablet -- and here are my first impressions and discoveries. First, it's more like an iPhone than a MacBook. The operating system depends on gestures, and expands the vocabulary. Your hand is going to be dancing.
Second big news: it's not just an application platform and full-color reader and media player. It's also a dual camera and, yes, read this twice, a phone. And therein lies a tale. For those whose habits have been formed around their iPhones, be very, very careful when your iTablet rings for the first time. That urge to whip the thing with its ginormous 10 inch screen up to your ear is going to play havoc with your eye. In the small group of folks I ran into who were returning their demo versions, most of us had nasty shiners.
Apple assures us that final production versions will come with training corners -- foam wedgies that will soften the blow until the user gets used to answering the giant device. And the second mod will be a catcher's mitt-like webbing on the back of the iTablet so you can one hand it.
Killer apps? Try this -- for those who will want to mount the iTablet high on their dashboard, this thing is going to block your view. So Apple has come up with the brilliant iDrive. The camera on the back side stays live and you basically can see right through your iTablet, like a virtual window. A second camera, imbedded invisibly in the screen, can provide help in backing up.
When you're not in your car, the embedded cameras creates iMirror, and one of the coolest apps we've seen so far is iTrim. Male or female, select your hairstyle from dozens of possibilities, and then iTrim gives you cut by cut directions so you can do it yourself. You might need a little help for the back and top, or you can sync up two iTablets and put them on the Infinite Barbershop Mirror setting.
Now with all that extra screen area to dance your hand on, Apple has greatly expanded the gestures it understands. First, there's the Full Palm Down. Just spread out your hand and plant it on the screen. Whatever program that's currently running will screech to a halt. Flip your hand over and give it the Brush Off, and the program will go away. Do it several times and the screen will clear. Then there's the Fist Bump. Closed fist means 'Yes.' Or Agree, or Continue, Install, or 'Can I have some more, please?'
Finally, all of publishing has been praying that the iTablet will be a Kindle killer and free the publishing world from the threat of world domination by Amazon. Success may depend on whether people will want the reading part of their life to be as easily interrupted as everything else in their world. When your book can hurl e-mails at you, ring your phone, cut your hair and even show you who's sneaking up behind you, some may not find that to be the ideal reading environment.
Then there's the concern about the infantilism that permeates Steve Job's attitude toward culture. "People don't read anymore," is one of his brilliant observations. On iTunes, all music has become a "song." Verdi's Requiem Mass is downloadable as a bunch of songs. For an entire generation, a Beethoven symphony is now four songs. This is surely a crime against humanity of some sort.
So take the same attitude and apply it to books. And guess what? You aren't going to be buying a 'book' on the iTunes store. You're going to be buying a 'story' one chapter at a time, whether it's Wind in the Willows or Ludwig Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus, everything is going to be just a chapter in a story.
The good news is the color is great. You can zoom in for spectacular detail. And when you check in to that "mirror" function you'll be able to track the progress of your shiner.
ooo man when i heard the news that the storm hit the Philippines i felt hurt and sad. :( i donated most of my G-unit clothes to the Philippines to support the 25/35!!!!
WASHINGTON ? The Obama administration will not seek to arrest medical marijuana users and suppliers as long as they conform to state laws, under new policy guidelines to be sent to federal prosecutors Monday.
Two Justice Department officials described the new policy to The Associated Press, saying prosecutors will be told it is not a good use of their time to arrest people who use or provide medical marijuana in strict compliance with state laws.
The new policy is a significant departure from the Bush administration, which insisted it would continue to enforce federal anti-pot laws regardless of state codes.
Fourteen states allow some use of marijuana for medical purposes: Alaska, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington.
California is unique among those for the presence of dispensaries ? businesses that sell marijuana and even advertise their services.
Attorney General Eric Holder said in March that he wanted federal law enforcement officials to pursue those who violate both federal and state law, but it has not been clear how that goal would be put into practice.
A 3-page memo spelling out the policy is expected to be sent Monday to federal prosecutors in the 14 states, and also to top officials at the FBI and the Drug Enforcement Administration.
The memo, the officials said, emphasizes that prosecutors have wide discretion in choosing which cases to pursue, and says it is not a good use of federal manpower to prosecute those who are without a doubt in compliance with state law.
The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the legal guidance before it is issued.
At the same time, the officials said, the government will still prosecute those who use medical marijuana as a cover for other illegal activity. The memo particularly warns that some suspects may hide old-fashioned drug dealing or other crimes behind a medical marijuana business.
In particular, the memo urges prosecutors to pursue marijuana cases which involve violence, the illegal use of firearms, selling pot to minors, money laundering or other crimes.
And while the policy memo describes a change in priorities away from prosecuting medical marijuana cases, it does not rule out the possibility that the federal government could still prosecute someone whose activities are allowed under state law.
The memo, officials said, is designed to give a sense of prosecutorial priorities to U.S. Attorneys in the states that allow medical marijuana. It notes that pot sales in the United States are the largest source of money for violent Mexican drug cartels, but adds that federal law enforcement agencies have limited resources.
Medical marijuana advocates have been anxious to see exactly how the administration would implement candidate Barack Obama's repeated promises to change the policy in situations in which state laws allow the use of medical marijuana.
Shortly after Obama took office, DEA agents raided four dispensaries in Los Angeles, prompting confusion about the government's plans.
As a teacher, I think this is what a lot of teachers and staff really want to say, but can't b/c it's "Impolite." It's really true though! I like it! Bumped!
these ads were aired in 1993 and are remarkably accurate, the only thing that hasnt happened yet is the medical records on a credit card device, however that is being worked on
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